Warning: This is a mini-rant, so please ignore if you despise complaining
We all grow up. Some more quickly than others while some at a very excruciating slow pace (me). But what is the definition of being 100% mature. Better question, who even wants to be 100% mature. To be honest, I’m forever going to be giggling at my ridiculous immature actions. It irks me how everyone correlates immaturity with stupidity. Immaturity is just a sense of still being a kid, in my opinion.
I was sitting at a dinner table full of friends and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so out of place. No, not because of my immaturity. But because I can’t just sit at a dinner table and talk about grown-up things and/or gossip. You also start to realize who and where you connect and where you disconnect. People always assume they are taking the high road which of course, who doesn’t. But one thing I can’t comprehend is the way people will internally judge. I’ve always had a good eye for people who gave me bad vibes and I’d always teach myself to ignore it but it’s like, why. Why do I even bother putting myself in the same room as people who literally talk horribly about people as a hobby. That’s immaturity in my eyes. You could have your whole life together but when you’re sitting there still contemplating on the next joke you’re going to say about somebody, your life is far from set. The worst part is, it’s all behind closed doors. It’s as if nobody even has the decency to say it upfront. We all have skeletons in our closets and for our own reasons and I don’t judge. But when you start judging somebody for the way they live their life or the way they choose to be, that’s when you need a reality check. I’m not going to sit here and rant for days on because then I would be just as guilty. But I do believe karma comes in different ways. I’m not an angel and I know this but it’s not anybody’s business if I am or not. Always live for yourself. I am happy with who I am, I really am. Growing up is hard when you’re still a child at heart but I do know the basics. What’s right and what’s wrong.
What’s my solution? What my solution always has been, to remove all negativity from my life. Whether that means people I do care for or not. You live one life and it’s for yourself. Not for anybody else. I have to keep reminding myself that. I said hatred pushes you to be the best you can be and it does. There will always be background noise, you just need to learn to drown it out.