Quarter-tine century life crisis

Picture this:

It’s 2020. You just turned 25 while a virus called COVID-19 has ordered a quarantine for the entire nation. You’re on lockdown with a handful of new wonderful, friends that you’ve been blessed to mesh with. Just making 1001 TikToks and decorating COVID-25 tees.

The clock hits 12 and for once you’re not distracted by blasted, overplayed music remixes that you dance insanely to anyway. Or even city lights that look like their little own light show. No more celebrating with the hundreds of different people who all are escaping their own reality.

March 22nd, 12:05 am

It’s 12:05 and you blew your cake candles out and the people you spent the majority of your life with ranging from a decade to the past couple of years aren’t in the room anymore. Instead, just an empty space where they would be singing you happy birthday but now they’re just a red heart notification on your Instagram birthday post. That annual birthday text goes missing and then it hits, nostalgia.

Like hello, I was having such a great time, no way a quarter-life century crisis hit me. Wasn’t that just a thing dramatic affluent mothers would say during the O.C.?

“If you’re feeling lonely, if you’re feeling like a failure, if you feel like you don’t know if your life has any purpose [or] if what you’re doing has any value, you can reach into this reservoir of nostalgic memories and comfort yourself.”

The thing was, I wasn’t nostalgic about certain people or memories but more so who I was. I had no idea who Farah has been and why she’s becoming this way. She’s 25 and so far from where she expected to be. Was she doing everything wrong? Why was she so adamant on her choices yet so lost on if they were the right ones or not. What was her purpose, what was she going to bring into this life, what did Farah promise her little self in a 2005 time capsule to be when she was older, did she do it?

It’s been a year since I’ve started realizing this change. 2019 was a year I went through constant major self-reflection and oof, not by choice. My life was like a bubble, I was always so dependent on the same short-term aspects or people to make me happy and I would consistently resort to it until the bubble popped.

When it did, god forbid, I would have to resort back to whatever or whoever in order to not be alone. And of course, to start over fresh in a whole new city on my own was out of the question thanks to my roots. But it’s all good, 2020 came around and had to be the game-changer. Well, it came and it went like…

2020

JAN
Me: *Feels down so rethinks life and priorities, gets head on track*

Life: “Kobe died and impacted the world, what did you do, fill out a monthly goal of reading a book? lol”

FEB
Me: *Tries opening up about bottled up anger*

Life: “You can’t expect people to fix your problems, you’re responsible for your own unhappiness. Chill girl, life is too short and nobody really cares.”

MAR
Me: *Decides to drop the ego and be vulnerable*

Life: “Yeah sorry I gotta go but sure you’ll figure it out or we can just play music and cheer you up real quick, distractions are key remember”

Me: *Withdraws and focuses on self*

Life: “Are you okay, how are you, let’s catch up soon, dying to know what you’ve been up too “

I am 25 and can openly say, I’m more lost than I was in my early 20’s. It’s a quarter-time crisis and like at least during a mid-life crisis you can go out and buy a car or do your impulsive deed of the day. *gets pinched*

“Hey, it’s life again. You’ve got to be kidding me Farah, a quarter-life crisis? When Corona is a pandemic but who cares right? You’re worried about a quarter-tine crisis, get a grip.”

That’s what I’ve been trying to do though and it’s like every-time I do, I’m going up those soapy stairs and fall right back to the bottom. Finding yourself isn’t easy, especially when you’ve always tied yourself to another identity. So to those who feel lost more than ever, right there with ya. But listen, let’s just recoup during our mid-life crisis, we’ll have to have figured something out by then.

Comments (2)

  • rb

    July 3, 2020 at 10:47 pm

    You can delay a career but the ability to delay having a family is firmly limited by a woman’s biology.

    So, a woman, instead of prioritizing attracting the best husband she can when she’s the most attractive to men (18 to early twenties), she spends those years “finding herself”, thinking that a man of her dreams will just be waiting for her at the end of her journey of self exploration and ready for the leftovers.

    Marriage rates in the US have hit a record low, because most women don’t seem to be worth marrying anymore, and ironically, it’s women who want the commitment of marriage so badly, but are actually the ones who can’t keep their commitments in marriage.

    This is because women can get far more for sex than marriage. So much so, in fact, that having sex outside marriage will allow women access to almost any man they’re interested in. The problem is, women only take their best/top-tier options. Unfortunately, this implies that their best options will almost always be just for sex/non-marriage relationships. This is why sex outside of marriage destroys a society.

    Now, with time running out, a woman goes from being fully in love with and fully giving herself to the men she cannot have, to not being fully in love, fully able give herself to, and fully be excited about the man she can have. Often marrying, in her mind, because she “settled”. So it’s not surprising that marriages aren’t lasting anymore.

    So what we could as the most important relationship in our lifetime, can be characterized by the following:
    – For the man, the woman is going to be the best he’s ever had, and someone he’s able to love fully and completely
    – For the woman, it will be the exact opposite, and the husband was far from her first choice of men she’s been with.

    Both pre-marriage relationships are unstable and marriage relationships are unstable, because of this. Too many women don’t seem to understand the overall situation they’ve put themselves in. Honestly, it’s sad where we’re headed as a society.

    1. Farah Qutub

      July 27, 2020 at 8:47 pm

      This is by far an outlook I have yet to dive into, but I also want to know where you’re getting these statistics from, personal experience? Marriages hit an all-time low, does it explain why? What are the reasons being cited? Because if it’s based on personal experience, I’m here to say that both sides are at fault for marriages failing. Not just the women and for a wide range of reasons, not because the woman deciding to settle. I know plenty of women who are head over heels for men who treat them as if they’re any other girl, nothing special, let alone their wife. I know men who will bend over backwards for women who really don’t contribute to the relationship at all. It’s all about the partnership. There’s going to be difficult situations that need to be conquered and a positive mindset/balanced ratio from the start. There needs to be trust, obviously as well. Maybe since more women are starting to become more independent and quite frankly, it might be a source of confidence for women who feel as if they don’t depend on the man or the relationship. Unfortunately, most men have always thought like that which is why it was more likely for men to cheat back in the day. Do you see my point however, it can’t simply be blamed on women comparing apples to apples.

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